Supporting my client living with a shopping addiction
When I began working with my client, a lovely woman in her 80s living alone, it quickly became clear that her shopping habits weren’t simply about acquiring things she liked. Like many who find themselves drawn into compulsive shopping, it wasn’t the items she was addicted to, it was the process, the momentary hit of dopamine, and the sense of connection. For a person who is mostly housebound, the friendly voice on the shopping channel or their local delivery person may be the only friendly voice they hear from all day.
The journey we have been on together isn’t one of judgement or quick fixes. It’s one of understanding, compassion, and steady, manageable progress and it’s one I feel honoured to be trusted with as a professional organiser.
Listening first
Our sessions always begin with space to talk. Often, that can be the most powerful part of our time together. Shopping addiction is often deeply rooted in loneliness, grief, or a need for stimulation. Being fully present, listening without rushing, and recognising the bravery it takes to ask for help is where our work always starts.
Creating goals, not rules
This isn’t about cutting off spending cold turkey. After years of shopping weekly, sometimes daily, it would be unrealistic and unkind to expect a behaviour to disappear overnight. Instead, we agree on smaller, more sustainable goals like limiting purchases to a set budget or a number of parcels that can be ordered per week. Some weeks are going to be better than others, but it’s about progress, not perfection.
Unpacking the unopened
Many of my client’s purchases arrive and sit unopened, gathering dust in corners or under furniture. Together, we began carefully opening each parcel, some from months or even years ago. We sorted everything into clear categories: returnable items, sellable items, donations, and those she has chosen to keep.
Setting targets and celebrating wins
We introduced small challenges and wins like “one item sold this week” or “one donation bag filled by Friday.” These steps offer something to work towards and something to celebrate. Each cleared surface or returned item is a tiny act in reclaiming control over their space.
Maintenance, not miracles
The home has come a long way. It’s now safe, and significantly clearer than it was when we started. But the real work now is in maintenance, managing what comes in, not just what goes out. We talk a lot about the feeling they get when ordering something new, and explore other ways to bring that same joy into their day. A phone call with a friend, a new daily routine or even listening to music can bring some of that spark back.
Acknowledging the root cause
What’s often missed in conversations about shopping addiction is that it’s rarely about the physical “stuff”. It’s a behaviour-based addiction, often sparked by something deeper like loneliness or anxiety. In this case, it’s clear that the shopping channels provide a sense of companionship as much as consumerism. And so, our work continues with that understanding at its heart.
I am so incredibly proud of my client’s courage, and honoured to be walking this journey with her. This work is about far more than just organising a space, it’s about creating a life that feels safe, supported, and more in control.
If you or someone you love is struggling with compulsive buying, I want you to know there is support available, and there is no shame in asking for help. Every step forward counts, no matter how small.
If you’d like to talk about how I can help you or a loved one with creating more order and ease at home, virtually or in person, please do get in touch.
